double whammy bar

DOUBLE WHAMMY BAR

Living in the shadows of car insurance quotes
Castor and Pollux, two horrible blokes
Hygenically challenged, this brace as one
had killed the ugly duckling to spite the swans

With fistfulls of bitter these figures of fun
were blubbin' like babies all bothersome
but their, well his, blarting slipped 'twixt lip and cup
as the shape from the slaughterhouse shouted 'em up

After he'd stopped sulking on his mother's breast
and got catarrh
with his lethargic rasp n callous hands
he slapped a tara
on standard issue kisses sweet
and it's fancy repertoire
Trapped super swift from the awful sunshine
to the Double Whammy bar

With whinge turned up to maximum
Tweedledee and Tweedledum
This pair take on the mantle of a single sick rose,
being without a full deck and dormant from dominoes

With their gobs full of hate and cheese n onion cob,
had looked at felicity and give it up as a bad job
But 'twas a false dawn dreaming of being bereft and broke
as the jukebox and the butcher their ballache did revoke

Twitching freestyle to the Shadows' twang
the bloody superstar
cast a killer's eye at the nominal souls
and felt zest for his abattoir
After a long day staring defeat in the face
Sedgley is no Shangri-La
so like Cozy Powell he danced with the devil
in the Double Whammy bar

With guests in the attic, Jekyll and Hyde,
self taught magistrates, scoured the classified
The two sought a cupid's furrow for a solitary date,
an eye that weeps most when best pleased to adulterate

With roots full of ghosts and smocksters cast in gold
a lemon slice of inaction was ice cold
But it's a fool's paradise feeling loveless and quelled
and the slaughterer's tales of flattery desire dispelled

He described the gratification of painting the ceiling
for pure R&R
How a gory docket will selflessly spawn
an alcoholic reservoir
And the man with the cleaver and a paper ass
took his knife to the um and ahh
And with contempt for being all life you'll ever need is
drinking in the Double Whammy bar